to love, or not to love
Could you imagine marrying someone you’ve never seen? Yea, neither can I. Never in my life did I think I’d come across a reality TV show where people actually get engaged after a month of talking–and did I forget to mention they’ve never even seen each other? Felt like I had to reiterate the blind part because I’m still trying to wrap that around my head. Welcome to Love is Blind, where we indeed find out that love isn’t blind at all! We see love, hate, and situationships play out everyday not only in our own lives, but in other people's lives, aired for millions on national TV! By the way–whoever started situationships needs therapy because it’s not for the weak. (In case you didn't know, situationships basically entail a relationship with someone without the label and commitment part!)
We’ve officially entered the world of Reality TV: romance edition. There’s something both exhilarating yet completely mind-numbing about watching people's love lives unfold before our eyes. But that's where we are today, in 2025! Reality TV is truly the definition of the modern term brain rot. It’s quite literally what it sounds like–rotting your brain! As if short-form videos weren't enough, we now have shows about sex addicts being held back from their desire to jump each other's bones for thousands of dollars. Or even shows about siblings wingmanning each other to date other siblings… Yes, that is in fact a show called Dated and Related.
Essentially a social experiment, curated for maximum drama, we get to watch lives unravel before our eyes, in a matter of bombshells sent in the villa. Romance reality tv is born! A child we cherish so deeply…with the least amount of brain cells. A worldwide phenomenon–TikTok–that continues to destroy our attention spans. Because let’s be honest: who actually sits through Too Hot Too Handle without also doom-scrolling on TikTok? Right? Might just be me.
Regardless, I do succumb to these ridiculous shows and I hate to admit–I enjoy watching them (sometimes). It’s funny watching clout chasers, hopeless romantics, and people just bored enough to sign up all get thrown together and mingle. Sometimes you need a brainless show at the end of your day to wind down from using your brain all day for productive things. It’s okay to have a guilty pleasure show that happens to be named Love Island! It’s all fun and games until you start relating to the girl whose man acts like a five-year-old…
When I speak to my friends about their love lives, the term “organic” always comes up in conversation. “No, I don't want to go on dating apps, I want to meet someone organically.” It’s crazy to think that meeting someone normally, as we’ve done for centuries, now has the title: “organic”. Then reality TV shows come out where we see people meeting each other on a tropical island, so you’d think it’d be a magical viewing experience… Until you start watching people cheat and gaslight each other. Admittedly, it can sometimes be entertaining, but this behavior is truly degrading and shows people that disrespect is acceptable when it’s not. There’s an absence of respect for others and for yourself, just for worldwide entertainment. Doesn’t sound too fun now, does it? These shows are all about love for each other, yet forget to mention the most important love of all: self-love. If you lack the love of self, how could you possibly share love for another person?
Temptation Island
Now, the latest brain rot to grace our screens is Temptation Island. Couples go on the show to break up, live in separate houses with the opposite gender, to see if they get tempted and essentially cheat on their significant other for five-plus years. Sounds awful, right? I think so too. If you haven’t seen it, I warn you now there will be spoilers ahead… so go watch it now at 2x speed and hold on to as many brain cells as you can.
Temptation Island goes a little something like this: couples head to a tropical island to put their relationship to the ultimate test–withholding from temptation. All the girls live in a villa with single guys, and all the guys live in a villa with single girls. The goal? To come out together stronger than ever, even though you're surrounded by hot singles. So basically, can you keep it in your pants challenge! After watching the show, I'm afraid to report that the challenge level is: hard. The theory goes that if your relationship can withstand any obstacle or temptation thrown at you, you’re meant to be. But if one partner falters, then you've failed. If you can survive temptation island, you can survive anything.
But honestly… if you feel the need to bring your significant other on this experiment–on national TV, mind you–why are you together in the first place? Love isn't supposed to be like the Hunger Games, battling red flags, cheating, and constant disrespect thrown at you. Sure, challenges within any healthy relationship may arise, but the mentality should be that you are a team working through it together. Not battling to the death because your ego won’t let you say “I was wrong.”
It's shows like these that expose all our vulnerabilities. And let’s be real: it’s not just the drama that attracts views–it’s the relatability. What we tend to forget is how curated these shows really are. Some people overlook that, others acknowledge it for a minute until they post a mean tweet about someone they don’t know based on what a heavily edited episode showed them.
Remember–any publicity is good publicity. As much as we hate Brion, you all still look out for his life update to give him even more attention, fueling the exact behavior we claim to despise. Brion, the boyfriend that claims his sexual needs are not met because his girlfiend, Shante, doesnt fuck him twice a day. Oh! I forgot to mention on his list of requirements for his significant other…threesomes. Right! How relatable! He came onto Temptation Island to prove to Shante that he can be friends with girls… where I and all of America discovered that Brion, in fact, cannot be friends with women!
These shows are curated for max amount of drama, and as much as these people are willing to sign their souls away, they are still people at the end of the day. Producers probably gave them a loose script to ensure a viral-worthy drama.
I mean–who seriously wanted to watch Alexa and Lino every time they were on screen? I certainly didn't. Alexa and Lino–the perfect boring couple, where the guy is afraid of marriage yet also a puppy to Alexa following her across the States. Yet, we need the problematic couple, the insecure couple, the cheater couple, and yes, even the boring couple. We need variety. We need this spice in our lives because either you’re too bored with your own or need a break from your own crazy lore.
Temptation Island showcased some of the most outlandish men I think I've ever witnessed. And that's crazy considering I live in New York City, where the most outlandish men are all located! The horrid dating scene in New York feels like I'm walking through a horror movie, or maybe an IRL Tinder–same thing. I often wonder why nobody’s made a reality TV show based on it. With that said, why are we normalizing and accepting this level of egotistical, toxic behavior? The threesomes, cheating, and gaslighting presented in this show–it’s not okay. Every man on that show should be a textbook example to all on exactly what to avoid when searching for love. Because every fuck up you accept, the more the man understands that you’ll accept this behavior regardless and he’ll continue to do it anyways! The more you excuse their behavior, justifying it with “it’s just how they are,” the more disrespect you are showing yourself in that relationship. You take a step and you somehow find yourself walking on all over.
It was sad to watch all these girls' insecurities aired on national TV. The lack of self-respect and confidence within these women I'm sure, many viewers relate to. But let’s not normalize it. If you wouldn't want your best friend to endure it, why would you accept it for yourself? The exploitative nature of this genre fuels the toxicity we see in the world today, like situationships. It's past the dating stage, so you want to take the next step, but both parties are too afraid to–I hate it!
With all that being said, reality TV may be good, may be bad; regardless of how you feel, it’s certainly a good reminder that you’re not alone. You’re not the only one trying to figure out why a guy is obsessed with you yet lacks the balls to ask you to hang out… You’re not the only one who attracts flaky guys or even the one who says one thing and does the other. At the end of the day, what you go home to and have to live with is yourself. As much as you are your biggest critic, you can just as equally be your biggest fan.
Today, in SoHo, I met an artist named Zain Fix. After briefly speaking about his life and his beautiful art, we spoke about people and love. I'd like to dedicate this article to him. Although simple, maybe even boring, he told me: “Those who give love, receive love.”
