I’m Just a Girl!
Humor has always been a tool for survival, a means of navigating the complexities of life and its hardships. It allows us to bond, to process trauma, and sometimes to disarm others. Comedy is often at its most powerful when it gives us permission to laugh at the things that make us uncomfortable. But there’s a crucial distinction to make in how humor functions. Comedy has a golden rule: don’t punch down. It’s a call to avoid making marginalized groups the butt of the joke. But what happens when we start punching down on ourselves?
In the age of internet trends, we’ve seen a rise in self-deprecating humor aimed at women—humor that sometimes does more than just provide a laugh; it reinforces damaging stereotypes and limits our potential. We’ve come to embrace things like “Girl Dinner” and “Girl Math” as quirky, funny ways to bond over shared struggles, but in doing so, we are often unwittingly participating in a cycle of self-sabotage. These trends, while seemingly harmless or even empowering in their relatability, play into the harmful habit of women downplaying their worth and abilities. And that’s where the question becomes urgent: Why are we punching down on ourselves in the first place?
Snack Plates Galore
Let’s start with Girl Dinner—a viral trend where women proudly share photos of their "dinners," often made up of whatever snacks they’ve found in the kitchen, scattered across the table. It’s presented as a humorous take on the chaos of adulthood and the sometimes unreasonable expectations placed on women. The trend typically taps into the idea that women are too busy or too distracted to cook real meals, making the snack plate a symbol of the modern, exhausted woman.
But, at its core, Girl Dinner is more than just a joke about tiredness; it’s a symptom of something larger: a cultural narrative that expects women to be caretakers, organizers, and self-sacrificing nurturers, but not leaders or full participants in their own lives. When we joke about being too disorganized to eat a full meal, we affirm the stereotype that women are scatterbrained, unfit for self-care, and incapable of handling life’s responsibilities. At what point does this “funny” joke start reinforcing these limiting ideas?
Additionally, this trend taps into an even more insidious layer of eating disorder culture. In many ways, it trivializes what may be a deeper issue for some—disordered eating—and frames it as something that is fashionable or even empowering. While the "girl dinner" might seem harmless, it promotes restrictive eating patterns that can be damaging in the long run. These snack-based meals, though seemingly innocent, mirror the behaviors of those with eating disorders like anorexia nervosa or ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder).
Samantha Ruiz, in her commentary, highlights how trends like “girl dinner” normalize restrictive eating under the guise of relatability and humor. She notes that the trend resembles unhealthy diets often associated with fad eating behaviors. The normalization of these practices not only glorifies disordered eating but also presents it as an acceptable part of being a modern woman. This cultural framing turns something harmful into a seemingly harmless joke, making it harder for women to recognize when they might be crossing the line into unhealthy behaviors.
In essence, the "girl dinner" phenomenon reflects how deeply ingrained societal pressures and expectations have become. It’s not just about skipping a meal or eating less—it’s about the way society, through humor and trends, encourages women to downplay their own needs, sacrifice self-care, and conform to a version of womanhood that prioritizes others over themselves. How is this “funny” trend not just a sign of exhaustion, but a reflection of the normalized cycle of body-shaming and self-doubt many women internalize daily?
Girl Math!
On the surface, trends like Girl Math or Girl Dinner might seem like just playful internet memes—a lighthearted way for women to joke about their spending habits or dining choices. After all, who doesn’t love a good meme about justifying that impulse buy with “It’s actually on sale, so I’ve saved money!” But if we dig a little deeper, these trends reveal something much more significant about how society perceives women—and how these perceptions might even influence major events, like elections.
Girl Math, in particular, has gained popularity by making women’s financial decisions sound, well, a little outlandish. “I saved money today by not buying that thing,” or “If it’s on sale, it’s like making money”! While funny, it also reinforces the stereotype that women are irrational or frivolous when it comes to managing money. These kinds of jokes might seem harmless, but they subtly send a message that women can’t be trusted with serious financial decisions. They need to explain away their choices with humor to make them seem less, well, real.
Now, let’s take this trend out of the world of memes and into the real world. How might this type of humor influence how we view women in positions of power, particularly when it comes to leadership or financial decision-making? The impact could be more far-reaching than we think—especially when you look at recent elections. After all, if women are constantly depicted as quirky, illogical, or indecisive (even in fun), why would anyone trust them with the responsibilities of leadership?
Think about it: If memes and jokes perpetuate the idea that women can’t be rational decision-makers, how does that affect their political prospects? Do voters really take a female candidate seriously if they’ve been inundated with the idea that women are driven by emotion rather than logic? Does this influence how policies that affect women—like healthcare, education, or financial reform—are perceived and debated?
What might seem like a harmless meme to some can actually have a ripple effect on how we view women in positions of authority. When society accepts these stereotypes as “just jokes,” they can quietly reinforce outdated notions about gender roles that persist even in our most critical moments—like voting for the next leader of a country. And while we’re laughing about Girl Math, we might be missing the fact that these jokes could be contributing to a culture that undermines the credibility of women in political and financial decision-making.
The Trad Wife Epidemic
In stark contrast to modern humor trends like Girl Math, there’s the resurgence of the “tradwife” movement—an ideology that advocates for women’s return to traditional gender roles, positioning them primarily as homemakers and caretakers. This movement draws on an idealized, nostalgic version of womanhood, where women’s greatest value is found in their ability to serve others, especially within the home. The tradwife narrative places women in submissive roles, where their worth is tied to supporting men and shrinking in the face of their authority.
While some may see this as a way to reclaim stability or simplicity, the tradwife mentality is deeply troubling. It limits women’s potential, asking them to revert to a time when they were expected to be passive and dependent. Instead of empowering women, it diminishes their autonomy, reducing their lives to serving others rather than seeking their own fulfillment.
To be honest, the tradwife trend really freaks me out. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying women can’t choose that lifestyle—feminism is all about choice. The idea that I can go be a doctor (...Of course, not me, as I'm a film major...) while someone else chooses to be a stay-at-home mom is the point. There isn’t one outcome, and there never should be. But what doesn’t sit right with me is how this movement often promotes the idea that women’s lives should revolve around their husbands. The language surrounding it frequently suggests that women’s choices and bodies aren’t their own—they belong to their husbands.
This becomes especially jarring when we consider the phrase “My body, my choice”—a mantra that’s been central to the fight for women’s rights and autonomy. The tradwife narrative flips this completely, pushing the idea that women’s bodies should be controlled by their husbands, essentially saying, “My body, his choice”. This isn’t about choice; it’s about control. It’s a direct response to the viral tweet from Republican Incel Nick Fuentes, and it completely undermines the principles of personal freedom and self-determination that feminism stands for. How utterly depressing.
We’re living in a time when women fought for the right to make our own decisions—about our bodies, careers, and lives. And now, we’re seeing a movement that’s asking us to give that all up, to accept subjugation under the guise of traditional values. It feels like a dangerous regression to a time when women were expected to be passive and non-assertive, defined by their role in relation to men. This is not about choice—it’s about reinforcing outdated gender roles, and it’s alarming to see so many people embracing it.
The Real Question: Why Are We Punching Down on Ourselves?
These trends—Girl Dinner, Girl Math, tradwives, and the phrase “I’m just a girl”—are often embraced as empowering, as self-aware humor that allows women to bond and laugh at the chaos of life. But when we laugh at our own expense, when we downplay our worth and abilities, we’re not just making ourselves more relatable—we’re limiting our potential. We’re reinforcing the very stereotypes that have held us back for centuries.
The golden rule in comedy is to never punch down—to avoid making the marginalized or disadvantaged the target of our humor. Yet, we are too often guilty of punching down on ourselves. We make ourselves the joke, but at what cost? What happens when we use humor to diminish our own capabilities? When we preemptively make ourselves smaller, we’re allowing society to continue viewing us that way. Humor can be a tool for empowerment, but only if we use it to lift ourselves up, not to tear ourselves down.
So, the real question becomes: Why are we punching down on ourselves first? If we want to see a world where women can rise, where they can take up space and be seen for their full potential, we need to stop using humor to minimize our worth. Instead of laughing at ourselves in ways that reinforce outdated, limiting ideas, let’s use humor to empower, to uplift, and to reclaim our rightful place as equals in all areas of life.
