Let's Bring Back Secrets

“I just found out that my house almost got robbed on Tuesday night. I thought about not telling you guys this story because it's an embarrassing story for me and for my husband, but if it helps somebody, I'm gonna tell it.” This is how Michelle, a popular bartender on TikTok, began her storytime in early October. She goes on to explain how her husband got incredibly drunk one night, went to a bar, and was escorted home by two random men at 3 am. These men, though, were scoping out her house – with herself and her baby inside – to rob it. When her husband got home, Michelle came down and began talking to him while the random men looked around her house and were seemingly texting someone else. Luckily, the men left without any foul play, but – as many commenters pointed out – the situation could have been much worse. Viewers flocked to the comments suggesting divorce and pointing out the oddity of the storytime. Many viewers, including myself, felt as though this kind of story is not one that you would, or should, share with the internet. It felt awkwardly personal and like the kind of information you would only tell close friends and family. Soon after, Michelle posted another video letting viewers know that her security system was installed. Rather than simply sharing that she and her family were safe, though, she went through and gave details about her system. Michelle explained that every window and door has sensors, they have motion detectors and a doorbell camera, and outdoor cameras with motion-detector lights that flash after 10 seconds. Again, viewers were shocked that she was sharing this information. As many commenters mentioned, explaining details of your security system to the internet, in a way, defeats the purpose of having one in the first place. Part of me was also shocked by these two videos, but I also expected it, especially from Michelle. While these two videos went viral and many people came across her profile for the first time, I already had experience with her oversharing tendencies. In the past, Michelle posted videos letting viewers know where she worked, making sure to include her schedule so that her fans could visit. What would be a seemingly nice way to connect with viewers set off alarm bells around safety in my head.

But Michelle isn’t close to the first – or only creator – to overshare on TikTok. Many users film traditional sit-down storytimes to share whatever they need to get off their chest. More recently, the “Get Ready with Me” (GRWM) style of video has become the more popular storytelling genre. In GRWMs, users – primarily women – get ready for their day (doing skincare, putting on makeup) while sharing their stories. They immediately draw people in with their shocking first words such as “Get ready with me to go to my grandma’s funeral,” “Get ready with me to break up with my boyfriend,” and “Get ready with me to turn myself into jail.” These stories often cover heavy topics with little to no warning for viewers scrolling through their For Your Page. The videos receive mixed reactions, from people begging to hear more to others offering support to even more wondering why someone would share this information so publicly.

These reactions, though, are exactly why people overshare so casually. TikTok has been able to create such a personal atmosphere with many users creating raw, unscripted content. After filming storytimes that end up going viral, the creators often make a follow-up video starting by saying something along the lines of “Wow, I didn’t think that video would blow up.” People turn to TikTok to get their thoughts out and express their feelings, often not thinking that anyone will end up seeing the video. Users also take advantage of the platform, hoping to foster a sense of community or relatability through their storytimes. While the stories may come as a surprise to some viewers, there is always an audience who has gone through a similar, if not the same, experience. These videos create a space where people can connect and talk about their experiences, hopefully finding peace and forming new friendships. However, as a money-making platform, there are of course users who manufacture outrageous storytimes in order to receive attention, likes, and a following. Creators understand the virality of shocking storytimes, often dragging the story out between multiple videos to keep viewers tied to their profile.

Oversharing via storytimes has become a large phenomenon, but oversharing also occurs through videos as simple as daily routines. Many daily routine videos include far too much specificity, sharing what day of the week it is with exact time stamps (ex. I wake up at 7, leave my apartment at 8:30, take the 8:47 train, get off the train at 9:03 and walk to the office, arriving at 9:15). This seems harmless on the surface – and for most people it probably is – but you never know who is watching your videos and something like this can quickly turn into an issue of safety. TikTok has turned oversharing, in any capacity, into an everyday occurrence. The popularity of oversharing has normalized it, making people feel like they have to share everything that happens to them with an online audience.

Some things, though, are best kept to ourselves. Oversharing has the capacity to hurt all parties – the viewers by bringing up past, unpleasant experiences or by learning uncomfortable information that they didn’t want to know, and the creators by putting themselves on the receiving end of judgemental comments and unwanted attention. Sometimes, it’s better to get a journal to express ourselves or turn to family and friends rather than the vast, unpredictable internet for support.